Be Beautiful

Be Beautiful

So, I am very overweight. I admit it. It is very hard to control your weight when 1. Exercising is difficult to impossible. 2. Shopping is difficult to impossible. 3. Cooking healthy meals is difficult to impossible. (Are you sensing a pattern here?) 4. I am depressed like 110% of the time.
So I decided a long time ago that what little time that I did feel good, I was going to live my best life possible. That included wearing cute, sexy clothes and allowing myself to feel cute and sexy in them. Some people look at me and think oooh she is so fat. BUT there are also people that look at me and think oooh she is so beautiful. So let the haters hate and just ignore them. Be comfortable in your body. Do what u can to be healthy. Then live your best life while you can. You ARE beautiful. You ARE sexy. You ARE pretty. So go out there and kill it today!! Love and gentle hugs to you all!
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Important information

Important information

I got these images from the “Life after the semicolon” page on Facebook. It is a good resource for those of us who deal with depression, suicide, or any mental illness really. Check it out. I recommend keeping these images on your phone or tablet so they are handy for you to do a quick self-check from time to time.

Here is another one. Kinda similar to the first but not exactly the same.

Hang in there beautiful people. Remember you can always reach me by dm or by email. I am here if you need to talk to someone but I am not a medical professional. Do your best and reach out for help if you need it. You got this!!!

Facebook killed me y’all

Facebook killed me y’all

Photobombed by Sophie

So here I was perfectly happy plugging along in my not so perfect world totally oblivious to the fact that I was about to cease to exist. Yep. That’s right. So it started with a couple of texts from friends asking if I had posted a video on my timeline that looked suspicious. I replied no and quickly posted that I had not posted it please do not open it. Then I set about trying to remove it and to figure out how I had been hacked.

Well, stupid me clicked on a link FB had on their support section that said Help! I have been hacked! or something like that. I clicked and it talked me through deleting the video and changing my password. But THEN it logged all of my devices that were logged into my FB account out of FB so everyone using it would have to log back in with the new password. Fine, I know the password.

So, I go to log back in on my phone and uh oh I have two factor authorization turned on. It is going to send me a code on my phone to enter and make sure it is me. Fine. Do it already so I can get back to business. Well, I wait and wait and wait and wait. No code. I resend it. No code. I look at the other ways to log in. They have the correct phone number. I ask the boys for help. I ask my brother for help. Can’t ask FB for help because they have NO customer service!! UGH!!

To make a long story short. After two weeks of begging and pleading with my phone, computer, and iPad….I could not get logged back into my account. The one I had used since my youngest was 3 so 11 years worth of pictures and memories. I am the admin for several groups. The ONLY admin for several groups which are now crippled because no one can approve new members or do anything that requires an admin. I cannot access my blog page. I cannot even post on the page to tell the people who follow me that I have a new page now. It is ridiculous. I am starting over. I am not one of Facebook’s biggest fans right now. I will not be bragging on them anytime soon. My followers can find my new blog FB page by clicking on the social media links or following this link. https://www.facebook.com/fibroscoop1/

Just. Can’t. Even.

Just. Can’t. Even.

Guys, there has been so much going on and the big thing this week is that my disability hearing is on Wednesday. I am so nervous. Not sleeping well. My lawyer said this judge is really nice but I am having nightmares of someone worse than Judge Judy or…… I don’t even know a judge this bad….. yelling and accusing me of not really being sick. Even throwing the gavel at me. Lol Anyway, so now I am depressed, well I have been that for a while now, but anxious and paralyzed. Like I can’t do ANYTHING productive. Do you know what I mean? Have you ever felt that way? We need groceries. I need to take a dress back to Ross… yes, Ross! It is a sad day when I don’t wanna go to Ross! You know…. just.. STUFF!! Oh! And yesterday was my birthday. 🎂 I actually had a great day. Anyway….I am going to go stare at my to-do list some more. Wish me luck!

I wore my slippers to the Dr….

I wore my slippers to the Dr….

I wore my slippers to the Doctor. Yep, I did it. The receptionist commented. The nurse looked at me funny but knew better. The Dr laughed. They know me so well. I have been at this office 20 years.  It was a rough morning. They are lucky I showered and put on clothes… but the shoes….. nope. Don’t need them. Too tight. Or too rough. That one is scratchy. Those are hard. Slippers… just right. 😋

Have you ever been really sick? So sick you cannot get dressed but you have to go to the Doctor to get medicine to get better? Maybe the flu? Or Pneumonia? Well, I had neither of those. It was just a typical Wednesday for me. I have Fibromyalgia. That means I am always in pain. Maybe my hips hurt, or my back, or I just kind of ache all over. Or I can have excruciating pain. I never know what to expect and it can change with no warning. There is rarely ever rhyme or reason to it. I do know to expect a lot of pain after any kind of activity. I have to be careful not to overdo it. My good days hover near a 3-4 on your pain scale. Yesterday, I was at a 6-7 by the time I reached the Dr.

With Fibromyalgia, you may sometimes experience very sensitive skin. Even the light touch of a feather can cause pain. You may feel like your nerves are raw all over your body. Rough clothes or bedding are torture. I was experiencing both of these, plus my feet were a bit swollen. Hence the slippers.

Another very debilitating symptom of fibromyalgia is the fatigue. I have a limited amount of energy these days and it is way less than I had before getting sick. I had showered for the appointment. That, in itself, is the same as a 3-mile hike used to be, as far as the energy it uses for me. So by the time I was ready to go I was already exhausted and needed a nap. So…pain, raw nerves, sensitive skin, exhaustion….what am I forgetting?

Hmmm… oh yeah…. depression and anxiety. I was anxious about the appointment. I was happy to be getting out of the house and seeing people. However, instead of going to get a wonder drug which would have me feeling better in a few days as you do when you have the flu, I was probably going to be taken off a medicine that may or may not be helping with my pain. We believe it is contributing to my weight gain and severe memory and cognitive issues. I am going to slowly lower my dose and see if my pain worsens. Not an easy task since out of the last 7 weeks I have had roughly 5.5 weeks of severe pain. So I was depressed to be facing what may very well be a lot of pain in the near future.

My wonderful Dr (no, he really is) also wants me to do a repeat MRI of my brain (fun), see my neurologist asap (more fun), and required at least 3 pints of blood (super fun). He did gift me with a lovely parting gift of prescriptions for a shower chair and grab bars because I have been falling so much. This was the most fun I have had all week. Seriously folks. I really need/want that shower chair.

So…what is the moral of the story? I don’t know… Lol. I guess I would like everyone to know that living with a chronic illness like Fibromyalgia is harder than you can imagine. Those of us with a chronic illness call ourselves Warriors for a reason. I listed several of the bigger symptoms above but there are hundreds of symptoms and other conditions that go with chronic illnesses. So say a prayer for us please and next time you see someone out in their slippers or pajamas… stop and consider that they may not be lazy or whatever. Maybe their shoes hurt this morning…….

George Ezra

George Ezra

Ok guys, I am gonna act like a squealing teenage girl for a sec, but bear with me. This eventually gets around to grown up stuff. If you have never heard of George Ezra you must go check him out now. I have loved his voice since a friend introduced me to his music about 2-3 years ago. I could not believe such a sexy voice came from such a baby (meaning very young guy). Lol, sorry George. BUT, after reading the press about his new album, Staying at Tamara’s, and listening to the whole thing about a thousand times since it came out Fri, I am even more in love with the guy.

Guys, he had some major anxiety after his last tour and took some time away. He wrote some really great music and came back when he was ready. He has been open about it and has been raising money for mental health. He has written about it in his journal on his website. And the MUSIC and the VOICE! You must listen! If that doesn’t convince you this Buzzfeed might. It is a good summary of his early years. Lol.

https://www.buzzfeed.com/lucyjaynef/reasons-why-you-should-be-crushing-hard-on-george-15llj?utm_term=.fbOA2vQNM#.pvrogROjv

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Seriously, support a man who has proven to be funny, sweet and a hell of a musician. Just an all around good guy. Let me know what you think. Check him out on IG and Twitter

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#georgeezra #anxiety #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealth #hisbiggestfan #lovehimevenmorenow #stayingattamaras #dontmatternow #paradise #Ijustlovethemall #sexyvoice

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