Hello beautiful people!
I am sorry I have been absent for so long. April has been crazy. So, the end of March my ex-boyfriend contacted me and we got back together. We had a wonderful three weeks together and then something happened and we broke up. I am not going into details for the sake of our privacy but suffice it to say that the issue is pretty heavy and serious. I love him still, and probably always will, but we just cannot be together. We broke up on Saturday, and I have been on a rollercoaster of emotion ever since. My depression and anxiety have been going haywire. On Sunday, I read this post on Instagram, and it really resonated with me. I am reposting it. I hope that you all get something out of it as well. Be sure to check out @beautiful_fibro_disaster if you are on IG and if you don’t already follow me on IG, I am @fibroscoop.
At my weekly dr. appointment, mark asked me to try leaning into my feelings. When I feel sad or angry… let myself feel. I have persistently been feeling worthless, powerless, useless, trapped, insignificant, lifeless, pointless and unmotivated to change that. 2x this week my husband came home from work and found me laying in the shower, sobbing.
The path to learning to love yourself, be kind and nurturing with yourself…is a long, rocky one.
Trying to accept that I’m struggling not because im failing at life, but because I have, trauma and legitimate mental illness is hard. All of this happening is NOT MY FAULT and its NOT FAKE.
Mental health is such a complicated web. I want to share with you guys the real world of mental illness. Just like having cancer or a broken leg, you have no control of it happening to you. It’s not a choice. And it’s a real medical occurence. Just like any illness it comes with symptoms. Those symptoms attack constantly.
If you got cancer. You would treat your symptoms right? Pain,
nausea, fatigue etc. You would nurture your symptoms but you would also treat
the source right? Chemo, surgery…a mental illness come up in your life
shouldn’t be ignored or shamed. You should seek help, treat your symptoms. I
want to encourage all to do that! It will still be hard, but there will be
People need to see that mental illnesses is real, it’s common, there are others like you! And it’s okay. Its okay to have mental health issues, it’s okay to seek help, and it is okay to be working on it! You dont have to hide. You dont need to be ashamed.
Taking Mark’s advice made me feel like a mess a few times.
But it was also calming to stop life and let my world be about how I
Crying is a sign of healing. It’s a true deep processing of emotion. It’s a good thing 💜